Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just pee around me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
