I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
