just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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