she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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