How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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