he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize