Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason

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(512): View more from Texas

hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.

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(361): View more from Texas

I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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(253): View more from Washington

so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

(1-253): View more from Washington

because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

(253): View more from Washington

no more ever clear

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

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(941): View more from Florida

It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5

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(970): View more from Colorado

Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.

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