id be glad to
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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