Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
