Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
