sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
