We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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