We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
