It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
