I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
4 words: hood of his car
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
