After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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