There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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