Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
