Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
