Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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