i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
