Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
