Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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