I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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