The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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