So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
