Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm really busy with my period
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