Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We need to get me chipped asap
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I did not marry a roomba.
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