it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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