"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
