Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
