Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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