I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
