i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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