dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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