Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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