It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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