Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
