Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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