lets start a swedish sibling band together
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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