A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
