Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
ttyl tear gas
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
