dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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