I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
