Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he puts the penis in happiness.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
