All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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