If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
