I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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