after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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