One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
