So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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