did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
