oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
