Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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