Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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