She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize