Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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