I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
