just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
